life is made up of danger and heartbreak

So, yeah, I think I should start writing these, because I need some accountability, so I decided to try this. Thanks for hithelleth  for this idea. Soooo...

Weekly word count: 646 - and not even on the same project. *sigh* But I'm still kind of pleased? Due to my depression being a bitch in the holiday season (and due to my dick father), I think it's a miracle that I started to write again.

What I'm working on: The Sleepy Hollow Nick/Ichabod longfic and something for fandom stocking.

Thoughts, notes, etc:  I decided to write a longfic to practice plotting and pacing, because it was four-five years since I've finished my first draft, and since then I'm just wallowing in my depression and being lazy. Of course, I have a couple of ideas for original novels, and I started a few for NaNoWriMos in the past, but they just never get through the first 10 K, which is partly because I didn't flesh out the characters beforehand and I just can't write without fully (or at least almost fully) formed characters. Hence the fanfic...

I chose the Sleepy Hollow fandom because I'm not really on tumblr - they are toxic cesspit anyway - and I'm doing a rare pair (a 'problematic rare pair at that' - yeah I lied, I peeked at tumblr, and why, self, why?), so there's not much pressure. And I like the fantasy monster of the week theme, so I can maybe manage to finish this. I'm not really fannish about season 3, so I set the fic in the near future and I'm totally ignoring canon, so my impulsiveness and wanting to fit every canon detail into the fic shouldn't be an issue. And yet, today, I woke up and just wanted to discard the whole outline, because, you know, the usual self-doubt. Anyway, I'm marching on with this one.

Partly, the situation is the same with the fandom stocking fic, because urgh, why I want to squeeze even a minuscule plot into this fluffy ship fic is beyond me. So I'm stuck with plotting the crime solving thing - and how not to write something like serial killers or a downer kidnapping case for the holidays for someone. What is a good crime thing that doesn't involve a lot of sad? Robbery or what?

It's funny that being sick could motivate me. I mean, I had always problems with putting aside my inner editor and just write, but now I think I kind of reevaluated everything in my life and though I'm still pretty depressed (but I'm so hoping I could start my treatment someday soon!), I kinda want to be positive and do productive things: which is writing.

I scrapped my Agents of SHIELD fic, but I figured out what was wrong with it: I started it before s2 and I have to rework a "few" scene, so now I'm outlining hard... and I get the feeling it will be much longer than expected. (But who am I kidding? I always write much longer stories than I want to.) The other thing is I haven't fangirled in a while, but I watched a few fanvids and yeah, I still like this ship I'm writing for, even if canon sunk it. By that I mean there aren't any scenes between Ward, Simmons and Fitz... but I'm still not giving up, and yes, I want to be accountable for it, so that's why I'm writing about in public. I need my cheerleaders. :D (And ha-ha, this fic is so long over due.)

And I've signed up for Ship Swap, and it seems the fic exchange gods love me, because my bad luck with recips* seems to have ended. I got someone who seems to be a lovely person and I already saved their letter to treat. :) I'm outlining fics for them already, but I need to rewatch the canons. I'm so nervous, I don't want to disappoint them and yes, I know this anxiety is what kills my muse, so positive thoughts!

* I don't always get the non-commenter/defaulters, but I had my fair share.

But the main point of this post, I need some writing resolutions! So here they are:

• to write that Agents of SHIELD threesome fic already. Possibly before SHIELD returns, but that would be a miracle, so I settle for April. (which means 6000 words per week?)
• to write a long-ish fic for the April CampNano - possibilities are: a threesome/foursome Agent Carter fic (Daniel/Jarvis/Jack/Peggy) or threesome Sleepy Hollow fic (Nick/Ichabod/Abbie)
• to write a long-ish fic for the July CampNano - possibilities are endless (Constantine, Arrow, OUAT?)
• to write a long-ish fic for NaNoWrimo
• to write my poor original novel... and find an editor.
• to write at least two treats for Ship Swap.
• how about that first sex scene I'm not running away from screaming?
• to write 100 k words, that should be enough of a challenge